Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I am not Canadian, but ...
Thanks to Steve Palmer's blog for the list!
- I dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
- I know that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) don't always look like that.
- I know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to my extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
- I know more than 3 guys named Gordon.
- I can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
- I know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few months early.
- I think -10 C is mild weather.
- I know the ingredients for poutine.
- I carry empty beer cans from my camping trips home with me in my backpack so I can recycle them when I reach civilization.
- I recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM.
- I die a little inside if I can't get my Tim's double-double every morning.
- I know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. I scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so* not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes.
- Someone accidently stepped on my foot. I apologize.
- I stepped on someone's foot. I apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.
- I pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".
- I'm pretty sure I can see Alex Trebek smirking when Jeopardy contestants get the "Canada questions" wrong. Even if I wasn't sure of the answer myself, I consider myself a hundred times smarter than the idiots who always guess, "What is .. uh, Toronto?"
- I'm not offended by the term "HOMO MILK"
- I understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
- I eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
- I drink Pop, not Soda.
- I know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"
- I don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays (not vacation), with good cigars and no Americans.
- I know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway
- I drive on a highway, not a freeway
- I have Canadian Tire money in my kitchen drawers.
- I know what a toque is.
- I know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed"
- My local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
- I know that the four seasons means: nearly winter, winter, still winter and construction.
- I know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
- I know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan"
- I perk up when I hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
- "Eh?" is a very important part of my vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"
- I know that Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores before Christmas.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- I use a red pen on non-Canadian books and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
Thanks to Steve Palmer's blog for the list!
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